1. Truth with Grace

This post could be a bit heavy for some of you, but I would request you to take time to read it carefully and try to understand what it's all about as it is extremely important to make the connection between love and truth. Truth is something which we have forgotten about, because of which we are where we are, almost at the verge of self-destruction of the entire human race. This could save you from the trouble. And by the way, "To all the sick lovers who lick the carpet for your girlfriends, "Grow up"- unknown"

Let me start with the Quote from approx. 2000 years ago said by a person called Jesus.

"Everyone on the side of truth listens to me". 

I won't tell you the same thing for I'm not Him nor am I worthy to be in His shoes nor worthy even to untie His sandal strap. But there is something important in this statement.

People who are only in the side of the truth listen to it. One who hates the truth does not have love in him. One who says that he loves, but no truth has no love at all. And finally, one who has no love tries to destroy the truth, or anything/anyone that is claimed to be true. But truth does not depend on the mood of the day, or from which side of the bed you woke up, or even on the black cat that crossed the road when you got out of your house. Whether you are drunk or frustrated or even dead, the sun still rises in the east and sets in the west.

Many of the things that I am going to share here and in the coming posts are not much on the weight of emotions, even though emotions have a role in Love and relationship. It could be a bit rigid and firm but with a beauty of itself.

 There are many things that we do in our young days when our blood is hot and running wild. And there are many things of which we are not that proud off to be talked about in the public. Especially to do with sex, drugs, alcohol, or sometimes even smoking. We men enter into relationship and use women for their selfish gain and please our sexual drive. It could go from women’s magazines, pornographic, movies, chats, and even to the extent of intercourse. I know of my friend in my college who said was in love with one of my dear friend whom I considered my little sister. Well, soon after the college, the boy went his way breaking her innocent simple heart. Girls could get into relationship and so emotionally involved that finally, they would compromise their virginity in the surge of emotions and what to them looked like feeling of love till later. No sooner will the man does his thing, he shakes the dust of his shirt, and vanish from her life forever. One of my friends is a victim of such injustice. The life which she lives is hard, and she finds it difficult to move on. Adding to all these are many other family issues, emotional issues, and even mental/psychological issues. Finally, when we like a girl, we present our best before her, hiding all these under the carpet so that our image is not spoiled, and we will not lose the girl or the boy. The true life is no more in the air, but under a mask that fakes everything.

Truth will not bend or break, but can only be hidden. But here is the interesting thing about truth. Truth and History are always in love. They are so close to each other. History brings the truth out into light anyway. No matter how hard we try to hide things, it will all come to light one day, but that day would be more painful and destructive. If you testify and confess the truth yourself, it is well and good. It stays private and you will feel secure and not much people will know. And even if they know, at least they know that you are not faking yourself, which would gain you respect and honor. But if you allow the history to do it for you, it is more of an effect of you being forced to walk on the street full of people, completely naked or like history given a microphone and a loud speaker.

Here is the point. If the man is truthful, it is well and good for him. He doesn’t have to worry about a thing. He is respected and History shouts his fame across the pages. But when a man hides issues or certain truths, he better be very careful. History reveals the truth; it will be like a fish torn stuck in his throat for his entire life. It eats him up. Something similar happened to the Satyam system’s Ramalinga Raju and he finally he said “It was like riding a tiger, not knowing how to get off without being eaten.". If you don’t know about the story, to read about it later, click here.

Lack a truth was never the issue. It was our hatred towards it because of our pride. Truth makes us Transparent and we feel weak. We feel we will be destroyed if we speak the truth. But here is the truth about the truth. Being truthful is amazing. It is glorious display courage when truth triumphs by your choice. It shows how strong you are from the inside. The more truthful you are, the less vulnerable you are to the voices against you. Bring truthful brings that being of selflessness. It humbles you. It keeps you safe and sound for the future. It gives you respect and honor. The ultimate result of being truthful and being on the side of truth is Freedom. Know the truth and ‘the truth’ shall set you free.

Many of you must be thinking, “If I tell her/him the truth, “that will be it”. The relationship will be over”. I understand and respect that feeling, but the fact is this that it will happen anyway, and the truth will be out anyway, the question remains how and when you would like the truth to be revealed. The sooner, better it is for you and the other person. If your partner/would-be is leaving you for you being truthful, the relationship is not worth it. If he/she leaves you, you must enjoy, because you have better opportunity than the other person. One, who can’t stand truth, has no love either.

The reason why I mentioned about the mistakes/issue which we make and go through are not to condemn anyone, nor to judge what is right and what is wrong, even though objective morality exists, but to help you relax and let you know that these are real issues and nobody is an exception for such things in life. The only difference is in the degree to which we do what we  choose to do. There are ways in which we avoid these issues too, but as it is will divert from the topic, we won't be discussing it here. I too have struggles and face difficulties. The interesting thing is that the other person, in my case a girl, will also have a story of her own to tell, about her difficulties, weakness, and mistakes. At that point, what I do with it is very important.

Truth as it is can many times be very destructive and offensive, as it is the character of the truth that it is exclusive and it disagrees with everything else but itself, without any compromise or feeling. Here is when grace makes the entry to the stage. Grace in expression is to relate with the person no matter who, to understand with patience no matter how long, to forgive no matter what, and to be with the person through it all no matter how. So when my would be (not girlfriend) of whom I know nothing about as of now, shares with me about her life, I better show her some respect and give her the grace to listen to her as she is showing immense about courage to tell the truth trusting me and hoping that I would be with her. So would be better for both of us, for her to respond the same way when I speak the truth about my life.

Dear reader, if you are a follower of Christ Jesus, you have the 
opportunity to get connected directly with the grace of the Only Living Working God. If you allow Jesus to transform you, you will be truthful in everything you do when you walk with Him and He transforms your heart from within. As I mentioned, being truthful shows the condition of the heart and how strong you are inside. Since Jesus is in your heart, you will be the strongest to proclaim the truth. And showing grace would be a piece of cake as Jesus is not just Truth in Person, but also Love in Person. Hold on tight, wait for more...

Absence of Girlfriends.. Presence of Love... The Intro

The Intro

Basically, the title is so because the writer is a man. It is chosen as revealed, and i took my time to think on it. After i was convinced about it, it was published. Why is it that Love and talks on love only heard in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship and after marriage, nothing ? Is love restricted only in the presence of a girlfriend ?

The reason/inspiration for this article(s) is and will be hidden under the pages of stories of my life, where girls were hurt and had shed tears because of  me and my actions and the tears in my eyes out of the desperation to be loved and accepted. Yet again are the stories of my friends, girls and boys, who have hurt themselves, by beginning with the wrong choices in relationship, ending up with the realization of the wrong, and ultimately breaking up from it, with a release of  frustration, disappointment, hatred, sense of betrayal, injustice, and with a huge amount of emotional pain and hurts, scaring those memories into theirs souls which would remain in their lives as long as they live, unless Sovereign Intervention.

One of the words which I dearly hold onto in my life is "Restore". This is what God through Jesus did in my life and is doing in my life in areas of my life and this is for which I would love to used for, by Him.  A closer related word to "Restore" is "Repair". Let's take the case of a building. It is always recommended, is in fact the  responsibility of the architect to build a firm foundation before the building itself. But places like in India, things doesn't happen that way. Many of us bribe the architect so that the work picks up speed even though compromising on quality. And the result? One fine day everything falls down. Note that, it's not only the builder or the people who are inside are affected, but the people around it too. The 9/11 attack on the Twin tower affected everybody, both in and out. It's the same in relationships. Many times we might have started building on the wrong, unleveled, shaking foundations. But it's better to re-do it before continuing with the building and before staying in it. If ignored, the end result would be disastrous and painful, both for you and for others. Please note that laying the foundations will take time, but it will be firm and its worth it.

Remain, Restore, or Reconstruct: Which one do you choose ?

At first, I thought that I could just write a long article and complete it, till realized that the topic is way huge to even be  completed in a ten thousand page book. So whatever I share is just a tip of the ice-berg and it will be in a series of 7 posts and the final post with conclusion. I'll discover with you few main aspects of relationships and what Love is  and what Love is not. My prayer is that by the end of this article series, we will be able to evaluate our relationship(s) or the relationship(s) into which we are going to enter, and make the right choices. Don't step into the house until you make sure that the foundation doesn't shake or the roof doesn't fall on you.

The following will be the topics.

1. Truth with Grace..
2. The Race in the Same Direction on the Same Track...
3. Motive behind the proposal...
4. The Unopened Gift Box
5. Beginning of Commitment with declaration...
6. Expression through Selflessness...
7. Explosion of Expression...

And finally the conclusion.

I'll try to write on each in a gap of 1-3 days, as i have to wait and think as I have a responsibility at hand to the reader.

After all, you are responsible for your life and up to certain extend, the life of whom you are involved with.

ps: To the married people: If these articles speaks to you, well and good. Please don't let anything break up the relationship you have your spouse. Once the choice is made, that's it, no matter what differences or difficulties. But there is still grace which could restore and re-new the relationship. If you are one of them, I could try to help you get connected to my mentor or someone who can help you in a better way.